“The Man Who Was Almost a Man”

After last Tuesdays class, I went back to my dorm and reread “The Man Who Was Almost a Man” because of the class discussion, realizing the story hit home more than I thought it did the first time I read through it.

            As a one of the few males in the class, I thought the story gave me a unique perspective to the piece.  The fight of trying to be a man as a teenage boy is more of a struggle that many males realize.  I noticed this more and more as I thought about how I was connected to the story.

Growing up, I watched sports and stories about athlete’s personal lives like it was my job, idolizing athletes and their ability to fight through adversity and become a champion. I wanted to be that guy; I strove to be that guy.  I thought they were true men. I remember watching Tiger Woods walk down the 18^th fairway on the cusps of winning a major and being mesmerized.  With his athletic ability, hard work, and ability to have an unmatched focus, I thought he was the quintessential man; not thinking of what else makes a man. Even closer to home, I looked up to my cousins who excelled at sports. In my mind, they seemed mature and tough. Because of my fascination with excelling in athletics, I worked tirelessly to be successful, hoping that people would think more of me.

As I grew older, though, I realized that being a man was much more than just being good at sports or running the fastest or jumping the highest. For a long time, though, I couldn’t put my finger on it. Being a man was something that always lingered in the back of my mind, like most boys, but I didn’t know how to be. I thought I was more of a man when I first got a cell phone, when I got my first car, and even when I tried alcohol for the first time. Still, though, I knew I wasn’t a man, not even close. Throughout my senior year, I knew I was getting close to being a man, but didn’t know why. Sure, I was more independent and had more obligations, but that wasn’t what makes a man.

Not until my first few weeks of college did I have a better understanding of being man was about. I found that it revolves around responsibility. Coming to college gave me more responsibility than I have ever had, and dealing with difficulties that come with responsibilities in many ways is what makes a man. Those athletes I looked up to were men, but not because they were good athletes. Rather, they were men who handled their responsibilities. They dealt with their responsibility as an athlete, as a person who could focus on what they needed to do at a certain moment, fight through adversity, and perform. Beyond athletes, a man is recognizable because they accept responsibility for their actions and perform the duties that are needed. They provide for themselves and take care of the people they are responsible for.

When I finished the story, I was left thinking if I was a man, and my conclusion was no I am not. The idea of being a man is great, and I would love to think in some ways I am. I still, though, don’t think I am mature enough and deal with all the responsibilities I face. And right now, I am not sure I want to be a man yet. Soon, though, something will inspire me to become a man or force me to be a man. I am still young, trying to find my place in life, shying away from some responsibilities.  I do not run from problems like Dave, but I certainly know the desire to get away from the problems occurring.  His desire to be a man and steps to be a man is something many males can relate with.