On Thursday February 10, I met with Adil Aldosari, my ESL partner. Before I met with him, I had a mix of emotions somewhere between being anxious and worried, not knowing what I was getting myself into. I felt that I should be more excited to meet someone from a different country, a different family, and a different way of thinking (little did I know, at that time, how different we are). Breaking my comfort zone, like most people, is not a strong suit. Even coming to TCU, knowing about 20 of Kansas Citians, was a big step for me as an individual. Enrolling at TCU, I thought, was a great opportunity for me to test myself and not follow my friends to University of Kansas. My experience with Adil, I realized quickly, would definitely test my ability to interact with a person who is very different from myself.
After a week or so of trying to meet (thanks, snow days), we finally found time to sit down and interact at Potbelly’s. At first, we made small talk, both complaining about the frigid, cold weather, both longing for the warm Texas weather to take over. After we sufficiently established we didn’t like the cold, the conversation got a little more personal, talking about Adil’s adventure to the TCU campus. He was born and raised in Saudi Arabia, and then moved to Arlington, Texas, to attend University of Texas-Arlington. Saudi Arabia, according to Adil, sends thousands of students to study abroad in the United States. In fact, there were so many people from Saudi Arabia and people who spoke Arabic at UTA that Adil was unsatisfied with his experience and wanted something with less people like him. So, he packed his bags and moved to Fort Worth.
The discussion moved along nicely with Adil explaining his love for travel and telling me about his visits all over the world. I was fascinated with how well traveled he is. Then, the conversation established a boundary that I felt was far harder to break than the fact that he was from a different country. It started with him talking about why he joined the ESL program and how he wants to get his masters in marketing because of his past experience – 7 years - in the field. He, then asked, how old I thought he was. After missing 5 times, he informed me he was 31 years old with a wife and two kids. To me, this made the conversation harder because he was so much older and mature. His lack of speaking English, which I thought would be the main barrier, was not much of a problem. He has faced the real world and dealt with problems that come with being older. Once I knew his age, I understood his interactions with me better. He was very comfortable and, at times, somewhat detached from the conversation, merely answering my questions and not asking me anything. At times, I thought he felt that he was meeting with me because he had to, not thinking our interactions would help him much. I am interested how he will interact in our next few meetings to see if this attitude will continue or not.
As the conversation progressed, though, we got more comfortable with each other, and, eventually, he invited to his house for a home cooked meal. I look forward to meeting him again. Hopefully, I’ll feel a bit more excited and comfortable and less anxious about our next meeting.
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