Father and Sons

            After our class discussion of Father and Sons, I was fascinated by Nick’s interaction with his son. When Nick’s son questioned him about Nick’s father, Nick did not bash his dad or even show his bitterness towards him, even though he resented him. Nick swallowed his pride and talked proudly of his father saying, “He was a great hunter and fisherman and he had wonderful eyes.” He went on, “he shot very quickly and beautifully. I’d rather see him shoot than any man I ever knew.” When Nick said this, he showed great humility and respect for his father. I would contest that he showed great respect for the idea of fatherhood. Every father tries to create an aura around their dads and themselves to make his son look up to them. The sense of pride stemming from thinking your dad and grandfather and so on creates a special bond between a father and son. It makes a son feel important. It makes them feel they are part of something special. A close father and son relationship is a special bond that a son and even father can’t find anywhere else.

            After reading the short interchange between the father and son, I reflected on my own relationship with my dad and my dad’s relationship with his father. I believe one of the most important aspect of a happy father and son relationship is the father showing the son what a good father and son relationship is through the father’s own stories of his father and his relationship with him. I believe it is very important for a father to instill a sense of pride for his family to make the son feel like he is part of something unique and special. All sons want to emulate and be like their fathers in some way. With this belief, I will start on my father’s relationship with his dad.

            From my experiences with my dad, I can tell that he did not have the best relationship with his father growing up, but it was still a happy one. My grandpa was your typical working father, who worked constantly to provide for his family. Every day my grandpa woke up and went to work before my dad was awake and often came back late at night. My dad told me when I was older that his dad did not go to all of his sporting events or supported his many of his ventures as a kid, mainly because my grandpa was working. The moments my dad talks most fondly about are his trips to Colorado. As a kid, he my dad told me how great of a skier my grandpa was and how much fun he had with my grandpa on their skiing trips. He reminisced on their camping adventures, telling me his exciting and usually funny experiences with my grandpa. As a kid, I was enthralled by their mountain adventures. Those stories made me think highly of my own grandpa and dad, making me want to do similar things with my own dad so I can tell my son similar stories. I thought I was part of something special, a family full of funny, adventurous men.  Now that I am older, I notice how my dad never talked about stories at home or stories that didn’t occur on vacation. I can tell my grandpa wasn’t around much on a daily basis but they still managed to have a happy relationship, although it was limited by my grandpa’s work. As both my dad and grandpa age, they have become a lot closer, going to lunch almost every two weeks.

            Because of my dad’s experience with his dad, I believe that my father, son relationship with my dad is very strong. As a kid, my dad was at almost every sporting event or school event that parents attended. He was there supporting me, encouraging me from the stands. Not until my later in high school did I realize how important this was to me and how it enriched our relationship. On a day-to-day basis, he comes home from work to spend time with me and my two other siblings. I can tell he wants to spend time with us. He is always asking if my brother and me want to play golf or just hang out and watch a game together. He is a major presence in my life, and because of his presence, we have a great relationship. We talk almost every day and love to spend time with each other. I know when I am older that I will be able to tell my son a ton of stories about my dad and our experiences together. I will be able to instill a sense of pride to my son because of my dad’s presence in my life. I look up to my dad, my grandfather, and all other Lang men, and I hope my own son looks up to all the other Lang men and me.  I hope that my relationship with my son is as good as my relationship with my dad.