My favorite TV show

            As a 19-year-old male, it can be tough to admit this. Sometimes it is embarrassing. It almost always gets a good reaction when I tell people. My favorite tv show is and has always been Friends.  I don’t remember what exact season my family started watching this comedy, but we were hooked. When I was growing up and to this day when we are together, we eat together as a family. Usually there is the news or jeopardy on in the background with the sound barely heard, no one really watching. We did this every night, except for Thursdays at seven. We would sit at the kitchen table and watch Friends as a family, sing the theme song, and laugh at every joke. For a long time, my parents would talk to each other about not letting us watch the show because it was inappropriate.  After every conversation, though, they did nothing. They loved watching it, and they loved watching the show as a family together.  When the last episode aired, my family was extremely sad. I’m pretty sure I saw my sister cry and my mom tear up.

            To this day, though, my family is an avid watcher of Friends. Every day the Friends re-runs are recorded on our dvr, and I can guarantee that the episodes will be watched within two days of being aired. Even at college, my sister and I will usually watch at least one episode of Friends every day. My sister and I can safely say we have seen every episode at least twice, some even a lot more. Our Friends knowledge is vast. When people try to quiz us on the show, we almost always have the right answer. My sister even played the trivia game that was made, and she proudly said she led her team to victory, only missing questions about the names of guest stars.

            I’ve always tried to pinpoint why my family loved the show so much besides the fact that it’s hilarious. It’s not like we had anything in common with the six 20-year-old friends living in New York. We were young kids in grade school living in Kansas City. There aren’t a whole lot of similarities. The one thing we could maybe relate to is that my dad has a very similar personality as Chandler (He even dances the same), but even that seems like a stretch. I think the real reason we love the show so much is that it brought us together as a family. It is the one show that we can all sit down and enjoy. We have had a lot of fun times laughing and quoting lines from Friends. At one point, my dad even called me “Crap Bag” (I hope someone gets the reference to the name changing episode with Phoebe and Mike…) I have great memories sitting at the dinner table and watching the show. My brother, a seventh grader, was too young to remember the show in its prime and has even got mad when talk about watching the show together. He, though, has caught up to us and can quote the show and keep up with us. Up to this point, my family is still searching for a comedy we can all sit down and enjoy. For the first time in a long time, I think we finally found one: Modern Family.  Although Modern Family is great, no tv show, will ever replace our favorite tv show, Friends.

My family pet

When I read the list of additional subjects we could choose from, one topic really stood out: a family pet. My family’s dog, petey, is one of the stranger dogs. He is full of personality that people recognize the moment they first meet him. Everyone knew our dog would be unique the moment we got him, mainly because the way my family decided to get a pet.

            When my brother was in 3^rd grade, four years ago, he suffered from a bad case of anxiety, or so that is what we called it. He would get worked up about everything. He was a germ freak, got scared in storms, and panicked every time he had homework. The list goes on and on. It got so bad that when my parents were out of town my brother would have major breakdowns. This all sounds very serious, but, as the baby of the family, my and cousins and I like to think he exaggerated the whole thing. To his defense, though, he did have a problem. After visiting a psychiatrist a few times, the doctor mentioned that getting a dog might help. A dog would give my brother a companion, and it would give my brother something to care for and spend time with when he was anxious. This little idea floated around the house for a month or so, and our family got excited about the idea of dog. Well, everyone was excited except for my mom because she knew she would have to take care of it.

            One day out of nowhere I get a call from my mom I got a call from my mom and all she said in the voicemail was, “hey, we got a dog. Its name is petey.” I was shocked. I thought they were going to the pet store just to entertain my brother. Little did I know there would be an addition to the family. As the story goes, my family had no choice but to get the dog. First off, the dog is named after Stinky Pete from Toy Story. Ironically, that was my brother’s nickname as a kid because he loved Toy Story. Petey’s birthday is March 12^th, the same day as my brothers.  We didn’t have a choice but to get him.

            Little did we know that this pet would have a ton of personality and quirky traits that fits our family perfectly.  Petey is a lhasa apso who for some reason thinks he is a guard dog, even though he is one small dog. At night, he will stand in front of the door and bark at everything that goes by, which usually includes his reflection as he walks by the door. It is very funny to watch him think he is an alpha dog. His quirkiest thing is what he does with his treats. Unlike normal dogs, Petey and treats do not go well together. When we give him one, he will carry it in his mouth and cry uncontrollably and wander around the house to find the perfect place to hide it. It is bizarre and very funny to watch.

            Like our family, Petey enjoys relaxing all day and does not enjoy the outdoors. During the day, Petey sits on top of our couch in our sunroom and lays looking out the large windows. Although this sounds like a normal dog, he lays differently than most. He lies on his back the whole day with his four paws dangling in the air. I’ve never seen a dog look more comfortable. Then, when it is time to get outside, he is very picky about the weather. If it is raining, windy, or anything except sunshine, he will not think about leaving the doorsteps. He will just gaze out into the yard and decide the weather is not for him and wander back inside and most likely find a spot in the house to go to the bathroom that is in some dark corner away from everything. This is partly our fault because we never trained him. He is for the most part potty trained but if you tell him to heel, sit or anything, he will just stare at you, probably laughing in the inside. He, also, spent the first 2 years of his life with a leash on at all times. It’s not that we took him on walks a lot, but rather, it was just easier to catch him with the leash on. Lucky for him, he has graduated from the leash and roams the house freely, usually right by my mom’s feet. There is no denying that his favorite person in the family is she. It’s hard to find a time when my mom and the dog are separated. When he is not around her, he is causing some trouble around the house or running endlessly around the dining room table trying to get away from my dad or one of the kids or sometimes he is trying to escape an imaginary thing. I guess he is not as tough as he thought.

Sixth Meeting with Adil

Last Tuesday, I met with Adil and talked about his future after he is done with the ESL program. He still has one more year of studies and looks forward to finishing the program.  He is most excited about sitting in on some business classes next semester. He will not be graded in theses classes, but the classroom experience will help him understand what it takes to be successful on the next level. He knows it will be a challenge to listen to the professor speak English and try to comprehend it quickly so he knows what is going on. He is even going to take the exams to test how he is doing in the class. He is really excited about this opportunity.  He thinks it will be helpful in his development. After he is done with the ESL program, he is going to try and get his masters in marketing.

            Once he completes his masters, he is forced to go back to Saudi Arabia, where he will try to get a job. He seemed upset that he has to leave. He has really enjoyed the United States up to this point. One day he would like to return for and visit his friends and classmates as a long vacation. He is also a tad nervous about his return because he is not sure what he wants to do. He would like to either be a teacher or get a job in a marketing agency.

            In Saudi Arabia, teaching is a very respected position. Adil has had teaching experience before as an assistant teacher before he left for the United States. Although he would rather find a job at a marketing agency, Adil would be happy as a teacher. They get paid well, and he enjoys interacting with students. In the Islamic religion, passing knowledge on to other people is one of the most respected jobs a person can do. He would like to have this honor to perform as a professor. He, though, does not want to teach younger kids. Rather, he wants to teach high schoolers. He enjoys having conversations on the material taught, and high schoolers, he believes, are very good at this because they are still questioning different thoughts and ideas. I think Adil would a very good teacher because of his passion for learning. He, also, understands the amount of work it takes to be successful. He would be able to help students develop great work ethic and determination.

            Our conversation about teaching made me think about teachers in America. I believe teaching is a respected position, but it is often overlooked. Not many people when they are young want to be a teacher. Teaching in the United States does not have the same aura as it does in Saudi Arabia. I contend that this is the case because most of the mainstream religions don’t recognize the passing of knowledge as a critical part of life as much as Islam does. I think it is sad that teaching isn’t as prestigious in America because teachers are some of the most influential people in kids’ lives.  Every adult can usually point to a teacher at some point in his or her education that impacted his or her life. The teacher I became closest to in high school has been very influential in my life. He taught me many things, including work ethic, writing skills, and time management to name a few. I feel lucky to have such a great relationship with him. We still talk frequently and will go out to eat when I am in town. Examples like these show the importance of teachers in each kid’s life and why more people should strive to be a teacher.

            Ultimately, though, Adil would like to enter advertising. He is not particular where he works in the Middle East. He says it is not terribly hard to find a job right now. He believes that his education in America will help him greatly in job search and advertising career.

The fifth meeting with Adil

On Tuesday April 12, I met with Adil once again. The meetings have been getting better every time, and the meetings are a lot less awkward. After last meeting, I was concerned if the language barrier would be an obstacle again. This time, though, we had no trouble.

Our conversation started with Adil talking about the TOEFL test and his hard work to complete his studies. This time, though, he made it clear how important our conversations our to him. He told me how much he enjoys talking to me because it helps him with his English and helps him understand people speaking English better. He told me that in his class that not many people can speak English well so he really relishes the opportunity to meet with me. Listening to Adil talk about how much he enjoys our meetings made me feel like I was doing something special. I felt like I was really helping someone out. I now appreciate these meetings a lot more. These meetings are much more than a class requirement now. 

In the first couple of meetings, I struggled with how much Adil talks about himself. The conversation usually starts with me asking a question, and, then, he talks for a long time. After he talks, I will ask a few more questions, hoping he will clarify what he is saying or expand on what he is talking about. I am beginning to appreciate my journalism days when I had to interview people because the conversation is similar to an interview sometimes. After he talked how important these meetings are to him, I now understand why he talks so much. It is not that he wants to talk only about himself. Rather, this is his way of practicing English. By me asking him questions, he understands how to speak the language better, which helps him in his classes and eventually help him in the business world

Hoping to improve his English even more, he asked the school to extend his scholarship for another six months so he can continue to work on his English. Lucky enough, the school approved his request. He was very excited to tell me his big news.  According to Adil, getting an extension can be very difficult. It took one student he knows at another school two months to get an approval for an extension. It took Adil one day. He thinks he got an extension because how hard he works. He told me his learning process of writing everything down on a piece of paper after reading or hearing something. By doing this, he says he can memorize things very quickly. This may sound easy, something everyone should do. However, he is reading a lot of different material and listening to many lectures.  He is constantly writing. He has filled many notebooks up with purely notes in the past couple of months.  Because of this, he has improved, and the school has noticed his hard work. I was happy to hear that he got an extension. I now feel even more important in his continued efforts to learn English because learning a language is much more than taking notes. It may help him write English well, but he still needs to learn how to communicate orally.

I am excited for my last few meeting with Adil and look forward to meeting with him because the meetings have a new importance to me. I am glad the conversation partner is a part of this class because it is a unique experience I probably wouldn’t have had if I didn’t take this class. 

The fourth meeting with Adil

On Tuesday April 5, I met with Adil once again, and this time the conversation was one of the most difficult I have had. The conversation started with him talking about his new neighbors. Two new families moved into his housing complex, one above him and one below him. He told me about how loud the person above him is and how the new person below him complained to the landlord that Adil and his family are being loud. Adil was very frustrated he had to deal with this situation because he has never had a complaint in the past year he has lived there. With two kids, ages two and four, he and his family are clearly not making a racket at 12 o’clock at night.

This story prompted him to tell me about his living situation in Saudi Arabia.  In his country, families build large houses so everyone in the family can live there. He told that the families have to save up money for around 15 years to buy a house.  The living situation is expensive because the entire house is built with concrete and the houses often have over 10 bedrooms. I was surprised to hear how big the houses are. The houses, though, have to big because of his religion. The rooms are not meant for all the family members. Rather, they are there for guests. According to Islamic law, a guest visiting the family is incredibly important, and the family has to make every effort to make the guest comfortable. Additionally, Islamic law states calls for men and women guests to be separated, which means that an multiple guest rooms is a must. 

When he was discussing this, I was fascinated. In America, most families buy houses that will accommodate the immediate family, not the extended family or guests. If families in America have guests in their homes, they will usually offer a couch, a blowup mattress, and if the guests are lucky, the homes will a guest bed. I really appreciate the hospitality the Islamic faith teaches its followers. I think people in America can learn a lot by the Muslims’ focus on treating visitors with unyielding hospitality and generosity.  It is sad that many Americans never learn about these little things about the Islamic faith. I feel lucky that I have learned about another culture and religion through Adil.

After we talked about housing in Saudi Arabia, Adil started talking about the economy. He talked about growing cities in the Middle East, which I thought was fascinating. The rich people in the Middle East are very wealthy and like to build extravagant skyscrapers and homes. The architecture is amazing. As the conversation continued, Adil started talking about his beliefs about an open economy. He told me that Saudi Arabia is becoming more open and that he would like to see other countries open their doors to other countries outside of the Middle East. As he kept talking, though, Adil spoke very quickly. I kept interrupting him because I did not understand what he was saying. We were both becoming very frustrated.  After 10 minutes or so of this, the conversation ended, and our meeting came to a close. For the first time, I think we were both frustrated to the point that it was hard to continue for any longer. I have been waiting for a meeting like this because I knew it was inevitable for the language barrier to become such a obstacle that it would be nearly impossible to overcome. I don’t think this frustration was a bad thing, though. It is an obstacle that I will face when I meet different people and that Adil will face when he is done with school. I look forward to the next meeting to see how we overcome the situation.  

The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber

“The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber” is one of my favorite pieces of literature. My favorite part about the story is seeing Francis Macomber undergo a transformation.  “The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber” is an initiation story about a man who had never had his courage tested and who had never discovered a sense of manhood until he was thirty-five years old.  At the beginning, he was a coward, and, by the end, he became courageous. In Hemingway’s mind, he became a man. This transformation of a boy changing into a man through a major, dramatic event is a prevalent theme in many of Hemingway’s stories. One can see how much importance Hemingway puts on this through a few quotes he said. For example, he said, "There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self." In “The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber”, this idea expressed in the quote is seen clearly in the transformation of Macomber.

At the beginning of the story, Francis Macomber’s cowardly personality shows itself in many different ways. I thought it was most evident when he his hunting the lion. After the lion escaped into the woods, Wilson told Francis that he would have to go into the brush and find the lion. Immediately Francis came up with ways he would not have to go into the brush. First, he said, “Can’t we set the grass on fire?” Then, he said, “Can’t we send beaters?” After both of these ideas were rejected, he said, “Why not leave him?” His cowardice is almost overwhelming. After the hunting embarrassment, his cowardice even revealed itself with his wife. On the way back to the camp, Margot leaned over and gave Wilson a kiss on the mouth right in front of Macomber. He just sat there and did nothing. Even worse, Margot slept with Wilson, and, when Francis tried to get angry at her and called her a b****, she responded by saying, “Well, you are a coward.”  Francis proved her right, not doing anything to her or Wilson. Francis was a truly a coward in every way.

At the end of the story, Francis underwent a dramatic change. Something came over him and he was courageous, hunting the bulls fearlessly. He even said afterward, “You know something did happen to me. I feel absolutely different.” That’s exactly what he was. He was dramatically different. Even Wilson noticed this and respected Francis a lot more before. His newfound courage was most apparent when he was not scared about going into the woods to find the wounded buffalos. He relished the opportunity. In his last courageous act, he stood firmly in front of the charging buffalo and shot him in the nose. He finally was a man and finally happy. His wife Margot even noticed this and knew this new man would leave her without hesitation. I agree with Wilson when he said that Margot shot him on purpose. It was clear that his transformation was complete.

I think many people can relate with Francis Macomber in his plight of cowardice, including myself. I believe that when a person is really happy, like Macomber was at the end, you find the courage to stand out and do something great that separates you from all other people. In Macomber’s life, he only found this courage and was happy for minutes, maybe even seconds. I contend that life is full of these short, truly happy moments. I thought about this a lot for my “otherness” paper.  I think that a person is truly happy when they find something that makes them different from another person and has the courage to be oneself completely. These moments can be simple or they can be as large as having the courage to stand up against your wife and kill a charging buffalo. The newfound courage that everyone finds is something special I think everyone tries to attain, and when you do, the feeling is pure joy and excitement.

Father and Sons

            After our class discussion of Father and Sons, I was fascinated by Nick’s interaction with his son. When Nick’s son questioned him about Nick’s father, Nick did not bash his dad or even show his bitterness towards him, even though he resented him. Nick swallowed his pride and talked proudly of his father saying, “He was a great hunter and fisherman and he had wonderful eyes.” He went on, “he shot very quickly and beautifully. I’d rather see him shoot than any man I ever knew.” When Nick said this, he showed great humility and respect for his father. I would contest that he showed great respect for the idea of fatherhood. Every father tries to create an aura around their dads and themselves to make his son look up to them. The sense of pride stemming from thinking your dad and grandfather and so on creates a special bond between a father and son. It makes a son feel important. It makes them feel they are part of something special. A close father and son relationship is a special bond that a son and even father can’t find anywhere else.

            After reading the short interchange between the father and son, I reflected on my own relationship with my dad and my dad’s relationship with his father. I believe one of the most important aspect of a happy father and son relationship is the father showing the son what a good father and son relationship is through the father’s own stories of his father and his relationship with him. I believe it is very important for a father to instill a sense of pride for his family to make the son feel like he is part of something unique and special. All sons want to emulate and be like their fathers in some way. With this belief, I will start on my father’s relationship with his dad.

            From my experiences with my dad, I can tell that he did not have the best relationship with his father growing up, but it was still a happy one. My grandpa was your typical working father, who worked constantly to provide for his family. Every day my grandpa woke up and went to work before my dad was awake and often came back late at night. My dad told me when I was older that his dad did not go to all of his sporting events or supported his many of his ventures as a kid, mainly because my grandpa was working. The moments my dad talks most fondly about are his trips to Colorado. As a kid, he my dad told me how great of a skier my grandpa was and how much fun he had with my grandpa on their skiing trips. He reminisced on their camping adventures, telling me his exciting and usually funny experiences with my grandpa. As a kid, I was enthralled by their mountain adventures. Those stories made me think highly of my own grandpa and dad, making me want to do similar things with my own dad so I can tell my son similar stories. I thought I was part of something special, a family full of funny, adventurous men.  Now that I am older, I notice how my dad never talked about stories at home or stories that didn’t occur on vacation. I can tell my grandpa wasn’t around much on a daily basis but they still managed to have a happy relationship, although it was limited by my grandpa’s work. As both my dad and grandpa age, they have become a lot closer, going to lunch almost every two weeks.

            Because of my dad’s experience with his dad, I believe that my father, son relationship with my dad is very strong. As a kid, my dad was at almost every sporting event or school event that parents attended. He was there supporting me, encouraging me from the stands. Not until my later in high school did I realize how important this was to me and how it enriched our relationship. On a day-to-day basis, he comes home from work to spend time with me and my two other siblings. I can tell he wants to spend time with us. He is always asking if my brother and me want to play golf or just hang out and watch a game together. He is a major presence in my life, and because of his presence, we have a great relationship. We talk almost every day and love to spend time with each other. I know when I am older that I will be able to tell my son a ton of stories about my dad and our experiences together. I will be able to instill a sense of pride to my son because of my dad’s presence in my life. I look up to my dad, my grandfather, and all other Lang men, and I hope my own son looks up to all the other Lang men and me.  I hope that my relationship with my son is as good as my relationship with my dad.